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sweet old min pin
lyndon baines

A sad bath

I gave Lyndon his pre-surgery bath today.  My other dogs try to swim over the water, but Lyndon just gets stiff as a board; like a cat.  I felt so sad washing his leg, knowing that by thursday it will be in the bottom of some biohazard waste bin in the back room of a necropsy lab.  I actually had to go into a biowaste storage once… it was horrifying.  I’ve been spending the day looking up pictures of amputation scars and reading early-stages recovery stories.  Needless to say I am emotionally exhausted.  The worst part is that he has no idea what’s about to happen to him… and I can’t explain why I’ve made the decision to do this scary, painful thing to him. 

More than anything I think that I am afraid he will die in the surgery, and in an attempt to prolong his life and happiness, I will have actually killed him when he would still be able to survive if I hadn’t done this.  If he dies I don’t think I will be able to ever forgive myself….

6 Responses to “A sad bath”

  1.   Chloes mom Says:

    Did they do bloodwork on him before you came to the decision to amputate? If his bloodwork came back saying he was healthy, then he should have no problem going under. Just make sure you don’t feed him for 8-12 hrs before surgery (or whatever is recommeded) to prevent him from aspirating.

    Andy Lyndon won’t know that you have made this decision, nor will he be “mad” at you post surgery. They don’t have the same emotional attachment to limbs as we do, so he won’t understand what happened. Yes he will know things are different, but they are very quick to adapt. My dog had full function of all 4 legs before surgery and 2 weeks after, she was already chasing her squeaker again!

    Now if I could just get her to stop trying to climb all over the rocks….

    -Chloe’s mom

  2.   ashley Says:

    Please don’t be so hard on yourself you are doing what you feel is best for him. He should do just fine on three legs. I felt the same way you do when we did duke’s first surgery, and 3 months later he is just a normal dog. I will keep you and him in my thoughts. Hope for a speedy recovery = )

  3.   Leslie Says:

    It’s so easy to be sad. I remember being slightly sad, but mostly just terrified. It is hard to think about the fact that he has no idea what’s going on. I remember having that conversation with my husband. I think most, if not all, of us have that thought at one point or another. But the fact is, he doesn’t know you made the decision, and it will never be held against you. When he comes out of surgery, he will never wonder “why me? what have I done?” or anything like that because dogs don’t mess with self pity. It’s a waste of time and energy, they know that.

    As for your fears of an emergency during surgery, well, I don’t think anything can be said for that. Surgery is risky. But my understanding is it’s a pretty small % that don’t make it. Chances are good in Lyndon’s favor that he’ll make it through without a hitch.

    I remember being in your position just a few months ago, so I know there is absolutely nothing that can be said that will put your fears aside. Just remember, your adorable little min pin loves you with the most unconditional love. Your next two weeks will be hard, possibly very hard, but the time you spend caring for him will only make your bond stronger and that much more amazing.

    We’re thinking of you this week.

    Leslie

  4.   Carmen (Catie's Mom) Says:

    Hi Amanda

    So sorry to read about Lyndon’s diagnosis and upcoming surgery; but happy you found this site.

    It’s one of the most difficult things about the whole beginning journey that our companions don’t know what we know, that we can’t consult and must make decisions for them. I remember well those wild anxious emotions, all the rampant what-ifs and indecisions and fear of an uncertain, changed future; I could barely look into Catie’s trusting eyes without bursting into tears of guilt and worry.

    Catie’s nine-month ampuversary is coming up this month (Catie lost her right foreleg and shoulder in January to osteosarcoma), if that helps and gives you hope. There are many stories of triumphant Tripawds and their families here. Take strength, if you can, from them and hold onto hope.

    What a lovely, pawsitively smoochie face Lyndon has.

    Sending you many, many healing wishes for his upcoming surgery. I will be looking for an update.

    Carmen

  5.   admin Says:

    Please try to be more Dog. Focus on the happy pain-free life Lyndon will enjoy without letting those silly human emotions get in the way.

  6.   jdsmom Says:

    I hope you can put aside some of your worries and take care of yourself. Get some rest! Lyndon will need a strong and well rested and positive thinking mom when he comes home from his surgery.

    Everyone here will tell you that the post-amp time is very hard on us pawrents. Our fur-children have the benifit of being drugged into resting and healing :), but we are watching them like hawks, and not sleeping well.

    So take the challenge to be as rested and pawsitive as possible for Lyndon, you are trusting the vets to do for him physically and you can do for him emotionally.

    Sending very peaceful thoughts to you and healing wishes to our new little friend Lyndon.

    Spirit JD’s mom

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